Fun Things To Do Online When You're Really Bored To Death

No, really, I'm OK to drive.\r
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.

I'm not used to these darts.\r
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

You get this one, next round is on me.\r
--We won't be here long enough to get another round.

I'll get this one, next one is on you.\r
--Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

Lets get out of here.\r
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.

Can I get a glass of white zinfindel?\r
--I'm gay.

Ever try a body shot? (Male to female)
--I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

I've had like 10 beers already.\r
--I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

Who's got the next round?\r
--I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

Excuse Me. (male to female)
--I am going to grope you now.

I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning.\r
--I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.

What do you have on tap?\r
--What's cheap?

Can I just get a glass of water?
--It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking 1/2 hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, so it's the least you can do for me.